Broken Open
by AudaciousAdventures
Summary: Kagome and InuYasha, two who feel both unrequired and star-crossed love. But will it bring them together, or tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

"Kagome?" my mother's voice sounds through a crack in my door. I stir, and my eyes puffy from crying last night. "Breakfast is on the table."

I pull the covers off of myself and stretch. "I'll be right there."

My mother closes the door with a click. I fix my covers and catch the sight of myself in my mirror. I look bone-tired and ragged. It isn't the fact that my hair was in need of shampoo, or even that my eyes were blotchy and red. I comb through my hair and take a quick shower before putting on my school uniform. I go downstairs and sit at the breakfast table. Sõta and Gramps have idle conversation that I can't exactly here. I feel somewhat detached from this era, as if I was supposed to be back there…

_No_.

My sole purpose in the feudal era was to help InuYasha and the others find the pieces of the sacred jewel shard that I'd shattered. I had no tie to Naraku, and he'd done me no harm directly. There was nothing that connected me to the feudal era other than generations of chance. Tears well up in my eyes, and I push myself away from the table and grab my backpack.

Throughout the school day, I manage to conceal my inner coldness. My laugh sounds broken to my own ears, but to my friends, it sounds normal. Hojo presents me with healthy gifts that I accept with gratitude. At the guidance office, I pick up the few make-up projects that I'll have to do in order to pass the course.

On my walk home, I find Sõta trying to prevent me from entering the house.

"Sõta, can you just…" I try and say, but the boy persists.

"Sis, you really shouldn't, I mean…Gramps is a little…uh…"

"Look I'll deal with him," I say, "Just...get out of my way."

"Kagome, just-,"

"_Move_," I say my voice cold. I push past my brother and enter the house to see InuYasha sitting at the table chugging a cup of juice.

I stop dead in my tracks, staring at the silver haired half-demon.

"Hey Kagome," he says, "Are you ready to come back?"

I stare at him, stupefied. How could he be such an idiot?

During our last battle in feudal Japan, when Kikyo and I had been trapped by that demon, InuYasha had leapt to Kikyo's side while I was thrust into the demon's bone filled nest. If Koga hadn't been there to save me, I would've been eaten by the demon's children in the nest. No matter what InuYasha could say about needing me to find the jewel shards, he had ultimately chosen Kikyo, which definitely hurt me. Was he so blind to my pain?

"Why _did_ you leave?" he asks, popping a plate of food my mom left out for me.

"Get out," I say numbly.

He raises an eyebrow, "Huh?"

"I said get _out_," I say menacingly. "All I've ever been to you is a tool, and I'm done being used so get _out_! Return to your own time, with your own battles. I have my own stuff to deal with in the present day, and it's my future that's at stake, not yours. You have Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kikyo who can help you. They were born in those ages, they were born to fight. I was born for tests and exams."

"You think it was by chance that you came to my world?" he asks.

"No," I say, "I don't know. But you see; it's _your_ world, not mine. Maybe it should stay that way."

"So you're not coming back?" he asks. "Ever?"

"Why should I?"

"Look Kagome, I don't know what's going on with you, but you'd better tell me what's gotten into you."

I clench my fists. "Nothing has _gotten into me_. I'm no one's second choice, InuYasha! Go find Kikyo; she'll be of more use. At least she has a _reason_ for trying to defeat Naraku. I have no reason to defeat him other than the fact that he's a despicable, evil, demon who deserves to die. You and the others have more drive than I do."

"So why have you been with us all this time?!" InuYasha asks, his voice rising. "Why would you have even come along if you were going to turn around and say all this? What kept you here all this time?"

"You did!" I scream. I push at him. "You, and Sango, Miroku, and Shippo! Koga and the wolf tribe, Kaede, Myoga Jinenji, and Hosenki. All of our friends are what kept me there. I love them all. With everything I have, I love them. But they can't love me! Eventually, I have to return to my own time. I will not stand in the way of their lives any longer. I won't do it! I love you too much to bind you to my memory!"

I gasp, realizing what I'd said. I steal a glance at InuYasha, who shows no emotion but a cold look. "I…I see. But…but you must know that I…love…Kikyo."

My heart, cold, rattles in my chest. "I know that. Of course I know that."

"Then it wouldn't hurt me if you left."

I look up at him and tears well up in my eyes.

_It wouldn't hurt me if you left. _

I couldn't believe it. Through everything we'd been through together, it meant nothing to him. I meant nothing to him. There was an undeniable pain in my chest. I was in love with InuYasha.

And he didn't love me back.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kagome, I don't meant that I don't-." he begins to say.

"It's fine," I say. "You don't have to make up excuses for me. I'm not worth that. Return to your own time."

"Kagome, just listen to me for a second okay?!" he yells, grasping me by the shoulders.

"For what?!" I yell back, fighting him. "You want me to listen to your poetic words of justice? What do you want from me?! You say you won't even miss me if I leave! So why do you want me to _listen_ to you?!"

"Because, there are things you don't understand! And if you leave, then you'll never know them!"

"So what am I, an outlet for your ranting and raving? Can't you just leave me alone? Haven't you ever thought that maybe I just want some time by myself? Maybe I want to have a normal life!"

"Spare me!" InuYasha lashes out. "You don't want to leave any more than I want you to, so why don't you tell me why you're forcing yourself!"

"You're such an idiot!" I scream. "I love you, alright?! That's why I've stayed, that's why I believed that I could be of use to you! I convinced myself that because I loved you, somehow, you could love me too! I was wrong, and I know that now. So why can't you just go?"

InuYasha stares at me for a few seconds, and then pulls me into a hug. "Kagome…you must know that…there's a chance that at a certain time, in a certain place, under a certain circumstance, that I could love you too. But I'm indebted to Kikyo in more ways than you can imagine. You have so much life in you, Kagome, and I'm bound to a trick played on me 50 years ago. Who am I to take away the life in you for the death in me?"

Tears flow down my cheeks. I grip InuYasha, controlling the sobs in my chest. I feel his lips on my head, but then, he is gone. There isn't a single piece of him left in my world. An emptiness replaces the hurt in my heart. I wipe the tears from my eyes and drag myself to my room where I work on the projects I have in an attempt to take back my life.


	3. Chapter 3

"So what do you say?" Hojo looks at me expectantly, a smile painting his face. "This Saturday, the market will be open, and I think it'll be a fun chance to get some great foods to help with your many conditions!"

"Uh," I say, chewing my cheek, "This Saturday?"

Hojo nods.

How many times had Hojo asked me out? It obviously took courage, and each time, I'd managed to completely bail on him for a fight in the feudal era. Maybe going out with Hojo would finally make it clear to InuYasha and everyone else – myself included, that I was cemented in present time.

So I agree.

Hojo's face lights up, and he smiles brightly at me. My friends surround me with their idle gossip and laughter. My mind keeps wandering to the bone-eater's well, to the past, and the memory of my being 500 years in the past.

"So, has Hojo cleared up your boyfriend breakup mope?" Ayumi asks.

I blink my eyes in confusion. She was talking about InuYasha wasn't she?

I smile at her, but refuse to answer, and stuff my face with fries from WacDonalds. It wasn't as if I didn't want to answer Ayumi…but I didn't know myself. Was I…_over_ InuYasha?

Once I'm back home, with more chatter surrounding me, it's clear to me that my heart is still clinging on to the feudal era. It was pointless to do so. He'd made up his mind. He wanted to protect Kikyo. I wasn't a fool; I understood that his choice was final. There was only one of us he could truly protect. Kikyo and I had much to share but InuYasha was not one such thing.

The one thing that still aggravated me was that Kikyo believed that InuYasha's heart still belonged to her. If that was true, then why did Kikyo want to crush him? Every moment that Kikyo spent on Earth was a moment spent despising all living creatures…InuYasha included. She seeked to end his life, and take her own 'life'. She wanted to end both of their lives, and take him back 50 years, to where Naraku's trap had sent them both on their paths.

Glancing out of my window, I could see the Sacred Tree. It had survived over 500 years of ancient battles. Along with the sacred jewel fragments we'd collected, it was my sole connection to the feudal times. The memories of Shippo, Sango, Miroku, Kirara and all the others fighting by my side would never leave me. I loved them. Now that they were gone, I felt like a huge piece of me had been ripped out. I missed them. That was to be expected, since I'd spent months upon months, growing as person myself alongside them.

But had I really done nothing for InuYasha?

After everything we'd been through. After everything he'd said to me; as both a human and a half demon. After every laugh, tear, and sit command, he could drop me just like that. Kikyo might have his heart, but was there really no place in it for me? I ball my hand into a fist to suppress more tears. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that I had to feel this bad, and he could go on loving whoever he wanted.

_I want him to feel this pain._

I gasp.

What was I _saying_? What kind of person would I be if I were to wish this kind of unhappiness on him? Of course he'd felt pain. Kikyo was torn from his heart by the dark and envious Naraku. He hadn't even had a chance to resolve his life with Kikyo. Now…now he had that chance. Who was I to blame him for fighting for that? Maybe I did deserve this pain.

A tear softly crosses my cheek, balancing on my chin.

Maybe I never deserved InuYasha at all.


	4. Chapter 4

The week passed, filled with late night studying and worrying. Saturday arrived, and so did Hojo.

He did everything right. He paid for my ticket, bought me a cute animal, laughed with me, told me to try certain foods. We'd had a nice time. A great time.

And it hadn't felt wrong.

I'd liked hanging out with Hojo.

As the days pass, the lingering sensation of numbness subsides. I almost feel…okay. Hojo had been nothing but nice to me this whole week. My projects had been handed in, and I had an ever present load of work to be done. Work was good. Work was a distraction. It'd done its job well. Many of my smiles weren't fake ones nowadays. Sometimes, I could grasp the idea of happiness. Sometimes, I even felt it.

"Kagome!" Sõta says, bursting into my room. "Isn't the volleyball tournament today?"

I smile at my brother, "It sure is!"

On our walk to school, Hojo meets me and helps me carry my tennis equipment. Ayumi and the others were positively thrilled. We'd gone to Wacdonalds periodically to talk about my 'boyfriend cleanse'. Apparently I was showing all signs of making a full recovery. The thought makes me laugh. To think that I'd spent months in that place, never knowing when I'd leave, was like a distant memory.

Of course I missed them, and I knew that it wasn't my pride holding me back from seeing them. I didn't want to be sucked back into it. I needed to get a hold of my life; and that was precisely what I was going to do.

After the school day, I received one of my test results. A shining A brought hope into my system. Things would be fine. I get changed for volleyball, and our team assembles on the court.

Game after game, I run about, bumping and volleying, and spiking. Our families cheer us on, and we do mini victory dances after every won game. It's fun. This is _fun_. This isn't dangerous, or life-threatening. It's the fun that a teenage girl in my times should be having. So I convince myself that I'm loving it. I'm having the time of my life winning the volleyball tournament. Winning is what I truly want to be doing.

Then I hear it.

It's the voice of Shippo, screaming his little lungs out, calling my name.

It's the voice of Miroku, consoling Shippo, calming him down.

It's the voice of Sango, gently crying, trying to keep her voice from wavering as she pets Kirara.

And it's InuYasha's voice, even and calm…and dead.

I hear their voices as if I was standing right in front of them. The voices cloud my mind, and I don't notice an incoming ball headed straight for me. It bonks me on the head and I pass out.


	5. Chapter 5

When I resurface, we've won. My team goes out for drinks. I tag along, my mind swimming.

Was I just imagining them? Was the part of my heart that reached out for them creating all these memories? Was _I_ preventing myself from moving on? When I'm finally home, I thump my hand on my desk and yell.

_It wouldn't hurt me if you left. _

The words stung more than anything I'd heard in my life. I'd been certain then, that I was in love with InuYasha. It scared the living hell out of me a couple days ago. I see now, that it wasn't going to go away with volleyball games and Wacdonalds meetings.

"Damn you," I say, slamming my table again, "You're such an idiot!"

Things were different now. InuYasha should've been there. He should've made me miss my date with Hojo. He should've popped the volleyball before it hit me. He should've been there, making me fail my tests, making me scream, and worry. Yet, he hadn't come for me. The realization hit me with a pang.

I run out to the well and brace my hands on either side of it.

"Where are you?!" I yell, "Where did you go? You're supposed to be here you idiot! You're supposed to be here with me! I don't care if you have a past! Who doesn't have some story to tell? The past is nothing but a story when you don't let it control you!"

With my eyes brimming with tears, I wait. I wait for him to appear, as he always does, his silver hair flying around him, his bronze eyes shining with excitement and adventure. I wait for his rough hands, and his sharp claws. I wait for the red kimono that had been spattered with blood, ripped, and saved me many times. I waited for InuYasha to burst forth and tell me to hurry up. I waited for his complain about how big my bag was.

No one came.

I stood there, still in my gym uniform and ponytail, shaking like a leaf.

Was it possible that InuYasha had forgotten about me? Did he truly leave me here on purpose?

"Kagome?" my mom calls. "You'll catch a cold if you spend all day in that uniform! Come on, go wash up, we're going out for dinner tonight."

I glance at my mother and nod. She smiles, and I follow her out of the shrine, closing the door behind me. I wash up, and change into a dress for the dinner. I brush my hair out, all while slowly feeling the numbness creep up on me again. I ignore it, and dinner goes well.

My brother is being a twerp, and I secretly thank him for it. It takes the attention off of me, so that even though I don't want to, I'm left to survey my own mind. I excuse myself and step out of the restaurant, breathing in the cool air. I look up at the stars, my eyes brimming with tears once more.

"We have the same sky," I say. "No matter where it is you are right now, InuYasha, we've got the same moon and stars looking down on us, light years away."

It's then that I decide, for the last time, I'll go to the feudal era. It would be to leave Shippo and the others with supplies. I would say my final goodbyes, and wish them all the best. I would return the sacred jewel, and vanish from their world forever.

Mom insists I take my bag with me, and I slip into the well, and cross time.

I hold my breath as the purple-blue dimension swallows me up, and I'm thrust into feudal Japan.

It's still nighttime, and the sky is a brilliant blue, the clouds wistfully hanging over the moon. All is peaceful and quiet. I climb out of the well, and navigate my way to Kaede's village.

The villagers recognize me, and offer me food. I smile at them, and do not accept their gifts. Kaede's house is not far off. The old woman's face lights up when she sees me. I smile back at her and ask her where the others are.

"Oh," she says, the smile disappearing from her face. "They're in a battle. The smell of human blood was fresh in a village nearby, and they'd gone to look after it."

"Oh, I see," I say. My heart was pounding monotonously. Had I expected them to wait for me forever? "In that case, I should just go-"

"Nonsense, child!" Kaede says. "Stay a while, I've missed ye presence! The others would cut off my head if they should find that you'd come back, only to leave again."

So I stay in the village, resting in Kaede's house, staring out the window into the blue sky, wondering where my heart would lead me next.


End file.
